Time - am I prioritising the golf balls or the sand?
How do I want to spend my time? What do I want to prioritise? What fills me with joy and what leaves me empty? These are not easy questions to answer, this analogy however offers some wise insights:
A professor stood before his philosophy class with some items in front of him. When the class began, he silently picked up a very large and empty jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.
The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and carefully poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was.
The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "yes."
"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognise that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things — your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions — and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car. The sand is everything else — the small stuff.
"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the golf balls or pebbles. The same is true for your life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you.
"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first — the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."
I am in a privileged situation where I can ask myself these questions every day. As my self-employment journey has only just started I have very few commitments and thus a lot of freedom (maybe even too much sometimes :)). I want to make the most of this “in-between time”, a time where I am figuring out my new journey, a time that feels a bit slow but also the perfect time to reassess my priorities. Am I really prioritising the right golf balls or am I actually feeling sandy?
As a notorious people pleaser understanding the things that really matter to me is easier said than done. Quitting my job was a first step in getting rid of some sand. But instead of enjoying the sand-free environment I fell into the trap of shaping my day exactly the same, the only difference was my employment status. Over the course of the weeks and months I will keep a closer eye on my golf balls, pebbles and sand, focus on what matters most to me and build a jar full of golf balls that will sustain me through the ups an downs on my journey ahead:
Building a home: after a real estate disappointment building a home away from home is no longer optional but a must.
Maintaining my long-distance friendships: just like any relationship, friendships need care, time and commitment, even more so when a quick and spontaneous coffee is not possible. But they are all only a phone call away. Regardless of how full my life may seem there is always room for a coffee, phone call, message with a friend.
Spending time above the tree line: A sense of calm and ease washes over me when I am above the tree line, the fresh air energises me and lets everyday problems seem meaningless.
More reading and less social media: Although I am starting to enjoying this quieter pace (well aware that this will change eventually) I have a tendency of procrastinating with social media. Especially when commuting reading a book will leave me more satisfied than scrolling through Instagram and the like.
Everybody's golf balls are different. Only you know. Time is limited and too valuable to waste on sand.
Source: The Happiness Lab
